Finding yourself only to lose yourself.

On my way to church this morning I had quite a few things flowing through my mind. My heart was rustling, which I knew could only mean one thing.


It’s amazing what happens when you declare out loud and on more than one occasion that you made a deal with God; from January 1 through December 31st of this year I would open my mind, heart, eyes and ears to what He calls me to do. Caveat being: I would NOT say no,and instead would just go with it.

EEEEKKK! It is scary at times y’all!

I did only what I know how to do which was let it out… so I said the words that were in my mind.

“What if in the process of of finally being able to find myself I lose myself?”

I have been a mom since the age of 16 years old,so this last year has been really about trying to learn what I like, love and want to learn more about. I have also made it a point to push some barriers even if fear wants to peek it’s little head in.

This year has been very rewarding and quite the adventure!

“You must grow in your faith no matter what because your prayers may not be answered in this life but the next.” That is what someone in my Sunday class shared with me several weeks ago and it has stayed in my heart. It was a light bulb moment for me because I tend to mentally prepare myself for tough things ahead, but like anyone else I get down and deflated when according to my time it does not get better quickly.

I go astray from the point. HONE BACK IN.

After class this Sunday, I went to church service like I usually do. USUALLY DO except I have not gone in there for the last few weeks. Not because I didn’t want to but rather because I felt as if I have lost some momentum in my faith. It’s funny how you know that no one else can see this vulnerable blind spot but HE can. So I tried hiding my face and my presence from Him in His house. Shame on me!

Cause you can run, but you can’t hide…lol!

I walked in- I heard the music, I sang to the music but then I STOPPED to write something down.

The name of a blog post. Have you know I have NOT posted since several months ago.

I wrote ” When you lose yourself you find yourself”… I wanted to write “When you FIND yourself you LOSE yourself”

Instead of going with what I felt my heart speak I write down what my fingers wanted.

Music went on about three more songs, and then we all sat down.

Pastor Dan at my church home, Pureheart went up to the stage like he does every Sunday and discussed the second half of the series they have been doing ” For the Sake of Others”.

I opened my journal, prepared to write whatever notes and takeaways I was going to learn today and then BAM!



He mentioned that John Maxwell had spoken at the Global Leadership conference and a phrase had stuck out to him…

” We have two great tasks in life: To find ourselves and then to lose ourselves.”

Here is a picture just so you can see for yourself.

TALK ABOUT” I can see you Sam!!!!!

I paid attention the remainder of the sermon and took as many notes as I could.

My biggest takeaways I want to share with you are this:

-Be willing to sacrifice your fears so that you can give life to others through leading more Christ-like.

-Remember that there are people all around you… you and your faith know the cure!

-You were given the gift of passion, power and purpose!

-Remember these things because you weren’t just saved, you were saved for something!

So the prayer for this week for me and I hope you too will be:

“Dear Lord, thank you for getting my attention in a way that only you know I need. Thank you for allowing me to be a little scared and I give you even more thanks for reminding me that you are standing right next to me. Thank you for holding my face above the waves and reminding me to only keep my eyes focused on you. Please give me strength to trust in your goodness when the thought of getting further away from “myself” scared the turd out of me, but each day I get weary remind me you are just trying to get me to lay my flesh to the side so that I can find myself spiritually. Allow me to continue being transparent, humbled in your word, and remove my pride and stubborn ways. Please humble and calm my restless heart. Please remove the desire to be in control and allow me understanding that this life you have paved out for me has a purpose only you know and I am simply meant to follow.

In your name I pray this for not only me but my JWIF Sisters-Amen!”

If you pray this prayer please make sure to take a photo and share so I can see how contagious prayer is #JWIFSister

Always attend prepared!
Love y’all!